Empty Nest Online

FULL NEST

Barbara: I started out with a good system. Every time I got in too deep with one credit card I got a cash advance from the other to bail me out. Everything was fine until the Visa people got greedy and demanded more than the Mastercard people were willing to give.
Carol: So you paid them.
Barbara: No, I applied for American Express.

Carol: How humiliating. The minute something goes a little wrong moving back into your parents' house, living in your childhood bedroom, which in case you were concerned Barbara has been preserved as a shrine right down the hall.

Barbara: Daddy, I can't live with you, I'm an adult. And I know you, there would be rules and curfews and you would listen in on my telephone conversations.
Harry: I never did that!
Barbara: Oh really? So when Joely Moss was explaining the facts of life to me, who was that on the other line screaming "It's a lie, it's a lie!!"?

Carol: Everything in your entire life is temporary!
Barbara: Yeah, but only for a little while.

Carol: My biggest fear is that there's no such thing as PMS and this is who I really am.

Harry: I would come home and [Libby] would tell me, "Barbara's got a new guy." Then a couple nights later she'd tell me, "Barbara's got a new guy." That would last about a week, then she'd tell me, "Barbara's got a new guy."
Dorothy: What about Carol?
Harry: Didn't tell Carol. It depressed her too much.

Carol tries to tell Barbara, who is uncommonly happy after being dumped, that she should be depressed instead.
Carol: Barbara, honey, you're depressed.
Barbara: No I'm not.
Carol: Yes you are my poor sweet thing, you just don't know it. Now tell your sister, is this how you normally react after you've been dumped?
Barbara: I don't know, I've never been dumped before.
Carol: Bitch!

Laverne: Just as well. You don't wanna get involved with a woman who works with x-rays for a livin.' One day she's sweet as punch, next day she comes home she's thirty feet tall.

Laverne: Wanna hear the latest from the hospital grapevine?
Harry: That Nurse Lasky used to be a man.
Laverne: No this is big! [hesitates...] Nurse Lasky used to be a man? Well that explains the bald spots.

Laverne: Our medical center has been sold to the Greykirk Corporation.
Harry: Really? Who'd you hear that from?
Laverne: It leaked outta Urology.

Charley: The chics aren't happenin' so I thought I'd change the ol' image.
Barbara: Oh I get it. So you got a fake mustache. This is like, instead of reading or being more courteous right?

Carol: Hi Charley.
Charley: Aren't you gonna mention my mustache?
Carol: It's fake. It's stupid. Can we move on now? 

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