Empty Nest Online

Charley spends the majority of his time chasing women and pursuing meaningless relationships. A frequent visitor to places such as Crotch Dusters and Stiffy's, his sleezy tactics and lack of respect for women often land him in hot water.  He occasionally receives death threat and once even a voodoo doll likeness of himself. None of this, though, puts a damper on his sex drive, for he never fails to find a cheap date somewhere. And if he does happen to find himself in a dating slump, he'll try out new off-the-wall techniques to pick up women. Some of these include posing as a doctor, putting subliminal messages onto cassette tapes, adopting a foreign accent, posing nude for an art class, and even using Dreyfuss as a ladies magnet. A few times Charley does show a softer side and even falls in love. Unfortunately every time this happens the relationship somehow comes to an end.

Charley works on a cruise ship called the Ocean Queen, although he rarely seems to be away. No one is exactly sure what he does on the ship, but his duties do include carrying around keys and passing out shuffleboard pucks. Over the years he does attempt a couple different careers. He takes a job as a pirate at Pirate World, becomes a television weatherman, works with his brother at a used car lot, and even tries stand-up comedy (which leads to an appearance on Evening at the Improv). When these career changes falter, he somehow ends up back at his cruise ship job: "I just showed up. They never knew I was gone."